Role-Play The Pain Away

Can I ever really prepare myself for what is next to come?
Knowing it’s there.
knowing it is only time that stands between me and what has become my normal.
Can I role-play the pain away?  Act out the scene before it happens so the reality becomes numbing?
Living twice what I don’t want to live once.

Maybe it’s nothing crawling through my thoughts.  Leaching itself to the part of my brain that screams to watch out, screams to be careful.
But maybe it’s real.  My mind can only be wrong so many times, it can only do illogical for so long before it clings to something real.

The special is bound to end, the good to stop.  So I’ll act out the scene in my head before it ever occurs.
At least maybe then I’ll know what to say.

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About laurengowing

I read prose. I write prose. I don't really read poetry, but sometimes I write it.
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One Response to Role-Play The Pain Away

  1. brenner1543 says:

    I couldn’t love this entry more. We all role-play, but I think the importance lies in recognizing that we do so. The significance lies in why we do it…… to make reality numb, to make it through another day. But the really shitty part is exactly what you said, “living twice what I don’t want to live once”. How true. The effort we put into faking an “ok” existence causes us to live it out twice but until then we’ll keep acting it out as it happens.

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